Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A day in the life of a mini bright green umbrella

I was made in China in 2005 and sent to Vancouver to be sold to a loving owner in 2006. The person who bought me was just 19 at the time. She was soaked to the bone as she hadn't yet afforded an umbrella (even though she was living in B.C). She was shivering cold by the time she found me.

A 20CAD splurge later, I was all hers. I was pretty lucky, really. I was kept in my jacket when I wasn't being used and I kept her dry when it started raining - no matter where in the world. A symbiotic relationship, really. I got free trips to the UK, Europe, Thailand, Chile, New Caledonia, Kenya, Tanzania, Vietnam, and best of all - Australia. It's all part of the job. I guess I got lucky, being born as a pocket-sized umbrella.

Umbrellas have a short lifespan. My mum warned me that I'd probably get neglected, and not to take it personally. I'm turning 6 this year and I'm starting to feel it. One of my arms won't open and close properly and I have to be coaxed into doing anything. I mean, a 6 year old umbrella - my mum would be proud and I've done my owner proud; it's time for retirement.

So retire I shall. As of April 1, 2011 I will no longer be acting as a functional umbrella. I hereby retire and will not be called upon for any duties henceforth. I have enjoyed my role thus far and appreciated all the opportunities to serve the cold and wet. I wish you all the best in your search for a new umbrella; please do not choose another lime green one as I wish to be fondly remembered.

Sincerely,

your mini bright green umbrella
xox

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